2004-12-29T16:55-0800 things i have learnt this christmas
<ol>
<li>In America, a sign that says "Open!" in bright flashing neon
demonstrates that the store in question has electricity, and is shut.
<li>Make a career out of being sarcastic, and the gods will give you
a sarcastic toddler.<br/><br/>
<b>Ada</b>: Mvy! Blz Ftzzz! Mvy! Blz Ftzzz!<br/> [MAKES SIGN FOR "MOVIE", "BLUES
CLUES"]<br/>
<b>Ada</b>: Mvy? Blz Ftzzz?<br/>
<b>Me</b>: Would you like to watch "Blue's Clues"?<br/>
<b>Ada</b>: [IN TONE OF GREAT SURPRISE] Noooo.<br/>
<b>Me</b>: You mean yes?<br/>
<b>Ada</b>: [LOOKS ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE] Yas.<br/>
<br/>
<li>According to my <a href="http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jhtml?CATID=100524&id=prod377007&skuid=sku377008&navAction=push&navCount=1">Kidde
fire extinguisher</a>, dry chemical consists of: Sodium Bicarbonate,
Mica, Calcium Stearate, Nuisance Dust, Irritant.
<li>The average fire extinguisher containt sixteen tons of dry chemical.
<li>When used to extinguish a toaster fire, it can expel this chemical at
a rate of six Niagaras a second.
<li>In the event of dry chemical spill, toddlers will absorb the
"nuisance dust". Parents will absorb all the "irritant".
<li>The best way to clear up the remainder of the dry chemical is to move house.
</ol>