2004-12-29T16:55-0800 things i have learnt this christmas
- In America, a sign that says "Open!" in bright flashing neon
demonstrates that the store in question has electricity, and is shut.
- Make a career out of being sarcastic, and the gods will give you
a sarcastic toddler.
Ada: Mvy! Blz Ftzzz! Mvy! Blz Ftzzz!
[MAKES SIGN FOR "MOVIE", "BLUES
Ada: Mvy? Blz Ftzzz?
Me: Would you like to watch "Blue's Clues"?
Ada: [IN TONE OF GREAT SURPRISE] Noooo.
Me: You mean yes?
Ada: [LOOKS ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE] Yas.
- According to my Kidde
fire extinguisher, dry chemical consists of: Sodium Bicarbonate,
Mica, Calcium Stearate, Nuisance Dust, Irritant.
- The average fire extinguisher containt sixteen tons of dry chemical.
- When used to extinguish a toaster fire, it can expel this chemical at
a rate of six Niagaras a second.
- In the event of dry chemical spill, toddlers will absorb the
"nuisance dust". Parents will absorb all the "irritant".
- The best way to clear up the remainder of the dry chemical is to move house.