BUDGET WEEKEND

After collecting your baggage, queue for the £1.50 bus outside Barajas airport.

The bus will take you to Plaza de Colon where you can catch the metro to Opera and buy 10 travel tickets for £2.90.  Then you'll have a 5 minute walk to Hostal Valencia

Check in at Hostal Valencia at £34 a night and enjoy one of the best views of the city. Hostal Valencia
Plaza de Oriente 5
00 34 91 559 84 50

Buy a lottery ticket at Puerta del Sol.  £1 for the chance to become a millionaire.

Find out if you've become a millionaire watching the Tele 5 lottery programme at 9:30 pm.
Bar La Taurina
Carrera de San Jeronimo 5
00 34 91 531 39 69

SATURDAY
Walking tour of the pretty La Latina and surrounding areas.  After being picked up from your hotel  you'll stop at the Monasterio Corpus Christi to buy some biscuits (£3) and you'll end up enjoying a glass of Rioja at Casa Antonio (50 pence/glass) .  And if you're lucky you can browse through weird religious artefacts along Calle Postas where you can buy a glow-in-the-dark plactic madonna as a weird souvenir (£1.50).  The four hour tour costs around £13.
Fiesta Tours
Paseo de la Infanta Isabel 23
Tel: 00 34 91 551 52 94
Fax: 91 501 18 35
E-mail: fiestato@tinn.net

Monasterio Corpus Christi
Pza del Conde de Miranda, 3
00 34 91 548 37 01

Casa Antonio
C/Plaza Puerta Cerrada

Eat a 'cocido madrileno' at 'El Bonar de Leon' where you'll be challenged by the owner to try and finish everything in return for the chance to win a 2 week holiday to Palma de Gran Canaria.  All that for only £8.50 per person.
El Bonar de Leon
C/ Cruz Verde 16, off San Bernardo 40
00 34 91 531 00 30

The girls go to AMA records at Mercado de Fuencarral to gen up on the club scene.  While there you can get a free slot Djing at the shopping center. Give them a call from the UK and book in advance.  A great place to get free entries to some of the best clubs in Madrid.
Mercado de Fuencarral
C/ Fuencarral 45
00 34 91 522 64 03

Start the night at around midnight in 'Matador' where you can enjoy your drink £1.06 average with very tasty free tapas.
Matador
C/ de la Cruz
00 34 91 531 89 81

Then straight off for meal and interactive drag show at Gula, Gula.  Menu £12 per person.
Gula Gula
C/ Gran Via 1
00 34 91 522 87 64

Move on to 'Kasbah'.  Drinks £4
Kasbah
C/ Santa Maria 17
00 34 91 539 30 37

Get a cab and hit the dancefloor at 'LP'
LP
Plaza Vazquez de Mella 2
00 34 91 521 59 86

And if you have any energy left at around 5:00 am, try 'Deep' where the play some of the best music in town.  international DJs on Fridays.  The prices of the drinks are around £7
Deep
Ronda de Toledo 1
00 34 902 499 994 - infoline

And if you are feeling a bit peckish at 8:00 am, chocolate con churros at A. Domingo is a must.  A chocolate is around 0.76 pence and you'll get 6 churros for 40 pence.
A. Domingo
C/ Embajadores, 76
00 34 91 517 02 40

Sleep till midday and then go for a walk around the Rastro (fleamarket) where you can get flamenco/bullfighting/football posters with your names printed on them.  £5
El Rastro
C/ de Curtidores

THE ULTIMATE

FRIDAY
Take a mercedes 500 into town with Fiesta tours
Fiesta tours
Paseo de la Infanta Isabel 23
00 34 91 551 52 940
Web: fiestato@tinn.net
Price: £43

Check into the Palace hotel
Hotel Palace
Plaza de las Cortes 7
00 34 91360 8000
Price for suite: £750 per night

Take some tango classes at 'La Carreta'.  You can also have dinner till 5:00 in the morning and enjoy the show.
La Carreta
C/ Barbieri 10
00 34 91 521 60 97
Private tango classes: £60
Set menu: £20

SATURDAY
Our couple buy some palmeras (0.60 pence) for breakfast and sit at the bottom of El arco de los Cuchilleros, off Plaza Mayor where they get serenaded by a Tuna (students dressed in 18th century clothes that sing traditional love songs)

Grab some 'bocadillos de calamares' in 'El Brillante'.
El Brillante
Glorieta del Emperador Carlos V 8
00 34 91 528 69 66
Price of the bocadillo: £1.80

Walk around the Retiro and get a boat in the lake
El Retiro
C/ de Alfonso XII
Price of boat: £1.90

Private visit to the most important private art collection in the world at the Thyssen Museum.
Museo Thyssen
Paseo del Prado 8
00 34 91 420 39 44
Price: - Private tour with the museum closed: £425 (up to 5  people)
- Private tour + hiring of room (Sala de Protocolo) with the museum closed: £2130 - catering not included

Romantic dinner at an operatic restaurant called 'La Castafiore'.  In this restaurant the waiters become opera singer and will do the famous 'Brindis de la Traviata' at midnight -  Basically, they will invite the whole restaurant to a glass of champaign for free and will toast with them.
La Castafiore
C/ Barquillo 30
00 34 91 532 21 00
Prices of menu: £25

SUNDAY
They head to Picadero Prado Luis where they'll take a horse riding class and go for a ride in the Sierra madrilena.  (40 minutes from Madrid)
Picadero Prado Luis
Alpedrete Km3
00 34 608 72 93 41
Prices: classes -  £8.50
They also have bilingual teachers

Apart from riding classes, they also organise day trips to the Sierra. Directions: take the A6 La Coruna motorway.  Come off at Puerto de Guadarrama exit, keep on going straight for 1 and a half km.  Then, take the turning where it says 'Alpedrete'.  Keep on going another 300 meters and you'll find 'Picadero Prado Luis' on the left.

ADVENTUROUS

FRIDAY
Get cab from the official rank outside the airport.
Price: £12

Check in at the most kitsch hotel in Madrid, Hotel Monaco.
Hotel Monaco
C/ Barbieri 5
00 34 91 522 46 30
Price: £35

Try mini cocktails with evocative names at 'El 21' inc. flaming ones drunk through a straw as it burns.
El 21
C/ de Toledo 21
00 34 91 366 28 59
Prices: 85 pence a drink

Typical madrileno food  (offals) at 'La Freiduria de gallinejas'.
La Freiduria de Gallinejas
C/ Embajadores, 84
00 34 91 517 59 33
Prices: 0.50 pence/unit
£2 portion

Have a drink at 'Stars Café' a meeting point in the trendy area of Chueca.
Stars Café
C/ Marques de Valdeiglesias 5
00 34 91 522 27 12
Price: £4 average drink

SATURDAY
Have a look around in 'Vacas Flacas' for funky clothes made out of recycled gloves & socks.
Vacas Flacas
C/ Claudio Coello 24
00 34 91 575 64 83
Price of bag: £45

Join a group of madrilenos for a fiesta campera at 'El Cortijo Blanco'. 45 minutes from Madrid
El Cortijo Blanco
San Agustin de Guadalix
00 34 91 841 82 30
Price: £340 to hire the Cortijo & play some 'games'.
Directions: Take the Colmenar road all the way to San Agustin de Guadalix. El Cortijo Blanco is on the main road.

After a hectic afternoon, order a take away paella from:
Moto Paella
00 34 91 501 28 28
Price: £15